Forgiving is liberating

Yesterday I told my mom I forgive her.

I discovered in the last month how vulnerable I can be. I spent a good part of my life judging my mother for the ramifications of her vulnerability (for both of us) in years past.

Not until I was brought to my knees by the manipulation of my own vulnerability (something that I seemed to invite) was I ever able to appreciate what her own trauma must have been.

When you are a willing party to your own destruction, you self-hate, and worst of all, you lose self-esteem.

But my mom's ultimate lesson was to be a survivor, and not just to survive, but to prosper with compassion.

As they say, "it's not how you fall down, but how you get up."

So yesterday I told my mom I understand, I finally have empathy for what she went through...what we went through.

One simple sentence over the phone, and it felt like our relationship changed forever.